Monday, August 25, 2008

Dad's never let their daughter leave.

I was recently thinking. I was looking at my husband and my 12 year old daughter and reveling in their relationship. I see the way that he cries when he thinks that she is not looking. I also see the way that he gives her things when he thinks that I am not looking. She loves that fact that he does not want her to leave him ever, not to college or marriage. She also knows that he is looking forward to these milestones of her, also.

I started have some deep thought on the issue of men and the women in their lives. When a man grows up in his mother's home he grows up knowing that his mother has expectations of him. "Keep your room clean, take out the trash, do good in school, etc.” He never understands that rather or not he lives up to his mother's expectations she will always love him. He is always afraid that if he fails, that love will be gone from him forever.

When a man marries his wife he sets up expectation during the courtship that she now expects from him. Once again he is in this cycle of “If I fail her expectations will she love me.” Of course the answer is yes she will love you.

But the relationship between a man and his daughter is much simpler, I think, than most people appreciate. His daughter offer for the first time in his understanding of life, true unconditional love. If he falls down she is truly concerned about her “Daddy”. She laughs at all his corny jokes with a full belly laugh. She tries to fix all his “boo boos”. His daughter will buck up to her own mother in defense of her “Dad”. When he comes home from a long trip away, she is the first one at the door screaming his name and jumping in his arms with Velcro hugs and all-over-face kisses.

This is what most men want from their mother’s. This is what most men hope to get from their wives. This is what good men get from their daughters. And we wonder why they cry like babies when their daughters leave them.