Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Don't be intimidated

I was having a conversation with a nursing student who stated that she gets very nervous around certain instructors of hers. She said that even if she knows the right answer she gets so nervous that she stumble over her words. I told her that her instructors are not trying to intimidate her but to give her understanding of the material she is learning. I also told her to have a talk with the instructor that scares her and tell the instructor how she feels. I hope it works out for her.

I still harbor an extreme hatred for math due to a teacher in second grade that told me I could never understand the concept of math. Till this day I have a blindspot to understanding mathematical concepts. I am doing better but I use an electrical backup.

Sunday, March 13, 2005


I am my own expert and I am not affected by the negative attitudes and opinions of others. I can open my mind. I can see love and happiness in even the most evil of mankind. I can see life. I can see God in this mysterious universe. I know that mankind are apart of mysteries. Personalities, where do they come from? How were they created? The organ called the brain is has many intricacies. The mind has got to be the powerful something we have.

Saturday, March 12, 2005


A scotoma is defined as a blindspot that keep us from realizing our potential. In other words it's like looking at something right in front of you but you can't see it. We all behave and act not as we see ourselves but as we perceive ourselves. Everyone has scotomas, they are based on our religious preference, the way we were raised as well as what we have experienced in our lives. We become conditoned to the way things are in our lives; the way people talk to us, treat us, the way we treat others even the way we expect things to happen in our lives. Once we get our mind's set that this is the way things are when something change in our lives that doesn't match up with what we believe as the way things should be we tend to build a blindspot around it. It is with this type of reasoning that most of us limit our potential in life. Most of us have no idea that we have built these blindspots so we go through life believe that we are not as smart as the other person or can never be good at math or that many goals we wish we could achieve are not possible for whatever reason. Our conditioning cause us to think this way. We must learn to stop behaving and acting on the truth as we believe or perceive it but start acting and behaving in accordance with the truth as it is.

One of the areas in my life where I have scotomas is my nursing education. I have tried twice times to start my nursing education and I always seem to sabotage my education. I felt that I did the same thing just last year when I quit clinicals. I now know that is not the case at all. I actually broke a scotoma. I made a realization that I had to make a change in my life if I ever wanted to be a nurse. Continuing to believe that because I am bipolar was a scotoma. Understanding my condition, taking my medication and getting counseling is releasing that scotoma.

The benefits of knowing about blindspots is that now I am on the lookout for them. I am now always trying to find new options and ideas this allows me to be more receptive to new ideas.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

My Grades

I usually try not to worry about my grades. But I am particularly happy I know that ai will be going into midterms with two A's and three B's. Yeah!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Total Abandon

How many times as adults do we experience total abandon? The other day I was in a rush I had to get to class, but first I had to drop one kid at school, go to the bank, bank go to the store, drop two kids off at daycare, take my husband money at work. I was late getting out of bed (totally my fault). I felt that this was going to be a really bad morning. Oh yeah did I mention it snowed (again) so now the roads are bad and speeding is absolutely not an option. I finally got all the kids dressed to their coats and shoes, got myself dressed heading to the van. My children, my lovely children decided to save my live that morning. My youngest went for the nearest snowdrift, my son decided to make fresh boot prints (away from the van of course). I went and started the van and put all the bags in the van. I turned around to start rounding up children when I noticed that all three were behind another car looking at me with smirks. I went to them yelling that we had to go right now when my beautiful eldest daughter hit me square in the face with a snowball. You know what it, the fight was on. That morning I felt total childish abandon. I threw snowballs, I rolled in the snow and I had the time of my life. I only had time to get to barely get to class on time and I was wet but it felt so great.